Starlet: “Mama? I think maybe I could wait two days to start school.”
Me (wanting to scoop her into Mama Bear’s arms & keep the world outside): Oh, babe, you’re gonna love it! Think of the new friends you’ll get to play with!”
My heart is aching. Part watching my baby girl grow up, part feeling failure. Me, the hardcore homeschool advocate torn between joys of watching her run happily to her class and the other half hating the 3 hours of silence at home. (Okay, maybe not totally hating it.)
She went. She conquered. She loved every minute.
When I picked her up, her face told such a confusing story. Some apprehension, some exhaustion, some “YEAH! Mommy’s here to rescue me!”, some bursting at the seams to tell me all about it…. all in the ten seconds it took her to bolt down the hall into my arms. What a flood of emotions for me. Yep. I cried. It was a total Hallmark moment.
To celebrate, I took her out for lunch to a restaurant that has an indoor playground, which of course was flooded with other mom’s with the same idea. Let me tell you, Starlet is a social butterfly with other wee ones. She is instant BFF’s with all the girls. Except one. Starlet kept following her & saying ‘Hi! I’m Starlet. Wanna play?” That girl would just look at her then run off. Again, Mama Bear wanted to scoop her up & lock the world outside.
I was thrust back in time to my second grade playground. All I wanted to do was make friends. But those Who-Cheez who called themselves the “Pink Ladies” (Sooo not joking. Their moms even made them the pink satin jackets!) would have nothing to do with me. WHY are girls so cruel? And at such a young age???
Starlet came to me, looking completely dejected, her lower lip pouting. “Mommy, I just wanna meet her & she keeps running away!” So maybe I didn’t do the right thing, but I wanted to make my Starlet happy. I called the girl over & asked her to meet my girl. They said hi & did their intros, then the girl ran back to her posse. But Starlet was happy. She just wanted to meet her.
I know I can’t protect her from the world, as much as I want to. Is there a magic pill to wave the world away? Or at least its meanness? Anyone? Can’t we all just get along?And WHO let me be old enough to have a preschooler???
September 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am
She is darling!!
Steph
September 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
She is adorable. I’m glad she’s the butterfly – I was the one hiding behind my mom… She’ll be so much better off
September 7th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Oh, she is just the sweetest. I hear ya about wanting to protect them from the world…it so hard and bittersweet.
Hugs,
Heidi
September 15th, 2008 at 4:01 am
I think you did the perfect thing!! And I love her first day outfit!
September 18th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
What a great outfit…I LOVE the shoes. I can’t believe those social walls start at such an early age. I didn’t remember encountering snobby girls until 3rd grade.
By the way, our wedding anniversaries are very close! We just celebrated 8 years on September 3rd. So, happy belated anniversary…glad you and your darling girls are doing so well…and I’m glad you’re back to blogging!
September 30th, 2008 at 4:41 am
She’s a darling Jess, and with your great mothering, she’ll be just fine in that big bad world. God’s peace and love be with you always!
December 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I just love her first day of school outfit. You’re right, girls ARE mean at a really young age.. my daughter just so happens to be best friends with the snottiest little girl at school but I can’t figure out why. It’s not like I can say “don’t be friends with her.” I just hope and pray that MY daughter doesn’t start acting like that you know what I mean?