Date: 10/31/06
Time: 8:18 pm
Posted to: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - OH my achin' waist - holidays - the blonde

Dear Sweet Adorably-Dressed Trick or Treaters,

My deepest apologies to you lil darlings, on this Halloween. We regretfully announce that although we did in fact purchase mass quantities of a myriad of ooey gooey name brand candies & chocolates, its all gone. Yes. You read correct, my sugar-loaded sweets. IT. IS. ALL. GONE.

I had great intentions of being the coolest house on the block, with the largest basket of candy. And not the cheap stuff, either, my angels. Oh no. Top dollar candy. Sadly, my self-control went on vacation & left me to fend for myself. And I failed. Miserably. I have no self-control. Just like I have no candy for you little ones. Because the lush, lip-smackin’ ten seconds it took me to taste inhale devour all that sugar, was far sweeter than the ten seconds of happy glimmer I would have seen sparkle in your sugar-glazed eyes.

Don’t be upset. Someday, far far down the road of life, when you’re a grown-up, you too shall understand the motivations of that crazed blonde chic in your old neighborhood that ate all your candy. And don’t get angry with me, either & attempt revenge on my home. I’m sitting upstairs, with the last few pieces of chocolate, watching out my window. Just to make sure you don’t try to TP my trees, egg my car, or smash my pumpkins.

Happy Halloween! I promise… the world is a much happier place when I get the sugar.

Love,
Starlet’s Mama